But almost no one was out there.

I guess they were in an office block, hunched over their laptop, helping someone else achieve their Dream Future Outcomes.

——

I chose to enjoy the best of it.

The whole morning in the autumn sunshine, looking out over the still waters of the bay. Riding with my 12-year-old daughter, who I only see part time.

My work’s rewarding too.

But not on that level.

That ride was the Dream Outcome I wanted.

——

The question I explore in this episode:

In 2026, where technology automates most of what humans used to do, and getting work done is easier than ever - where are we actually choosing to spend our time, and why?

It’s clearly not outside on the best days of the year, with the people closest to us.

What to expect in this episode

• Why we spend most of our time on something we don’t actually value

• How calling it “my job” quietly shapes identity and decisions

• The hidden trade-off between identity and real outcomes

• The one question that shifts where you spend your time

Where do adults put in the most effort?

From my experience, most adults spend the majority of their time doing tasks in a job in a business.
Plus hours getting to and from it.
Plus preparing for it when they’re not there.

About 60 hours a week.
Out of roughly 112–119 awake hours.

More than half their awake life.

—

Interestingly, no one actually calls it ‘a job’.

Instead, we call it ‘my job’.

Do we align the most effort with our important Dream Future Outcomes?

I’m not so sure.

Take my Dream Future Outcome from that ride:
playful moments with my family.

Is that important for almost everyone?

Yes.

But how many hours a week do people actually spend on it?

Maybe 4–6.

Is one (my job) really 10x more important than the other?

Not if you think about it consciously.

But the data says the job wins.

So either the data is wrong — or something else is driving the decision.

What’s the impact of calling it “my job”?

Calling it “my job” rather than “a job” is significant because when we label something as ‘my’, we identify with it.

Identification is the process of taking a thought, label, or role — and unconsciously treating it as who you are.

As Aaron T. Beck, the founder of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy said:

In reality, you are your mind and body, not what you do. You can never be your job.

But, your mind doesn’t need it to be true to believe it. Calling it “my job” is enough to identify with it. And most people never question it - it is who they take themselves to be.

So what happens?

Maintaining that identity starts to feel like the most important outcome.

Even though it’s not consciously chosen, and not objectively real.

But once it’s tied to identity, it drives focus.
And it drives decisions - especially about where they spend their time.

—

That’s why people spend more than half their time maintaining their identify with “my job”.

What’s Missing?

The ability to think in terms of real Dream Future Outcomes.

Because without them, identity fill the gap.

And identity feels like something very important is being achieved - just by staying busy at work.

The Shift is Simple

From identity to real outcomes.

—

If you don’t want to keep chasing tasks while missing what matters, there’s one question:

“What are my most important real Dream Future Outcomes?”

Your answer must be observable in reality* -
Conversations. Actions. Events. What you see. What you hear.

If it’s not observable, you’ll keep chasing something that feels important — but isn’t.

[* There 10 aspects to effective DFOs. Observable is just one— I’ll cover the rest in a future episode.]

Leaving Thoughts

Chasing real DFOs is the path to drop your need to identify with what you do.

And that gives you the freedom to choose where you spend your time.

Less effort on what doesn’t matter and effortless time enjoying moments that do.

Like a ride on a beautiful day with your daughter.

💛Grant

PS - I’d love your take - what else causes people, in this age of incredible technology, to stay so focused on their job instead of what actually matters?

That thought shows up more often than most people admit. And most people respond by trying harder. But when you have a problem that repeats, trying harder makes it worse.

What do I mean by that?

You can’t solve your problems using the same thinking that created them, and this is where probably 80% of business owners I speak to are struggling (wow, that many?)

They want to make their business work but continue to delude themselves into thinking that harder work will produce a different outcome.

It’s not their fault. Without intervention, your mind and body repeat what they know. Which just keeps the problem in place.

The reality is that Einstein didn’t solve his problems using the same thinking that created them. He didn’t formulate his theory of relativity by applying Newtonian physics.

And Netflix didn’t grow their business by continuing to post out DVDs.

What’s actually going on

No matter the area of life, the patterns of struggle are the same.

Because they all come from what I call The Essential Four - everything you have control over.

Whether you realise it or not, as a human, this is all you have control over:

• what you take in

• what you project out in actions and words

• what you think, imagine, and decide

• your physical condition

No one else can control your Essential Four, and you can’t control anyone else’s. That’s the true power of being human.

Every result comes from how you are using these four together. Both your successes and failures.

When you struggle again and again, you’re using The Essential Four out of order: too much of some and almost none of others.

And you continue to struggle, no matter how much more effort you put in.

What actually makes it easier?

Seeing the pattern that matters:

In how you’re using The Essential Four.
Not in the problem.

The shift comes when you ask:

This gives you an unfair advantage.

By applying effort with a different combination of the four, you reduce your total effort and get bigger rewards.

That’s seriously better than just trying harder.

What stops everyone doing this?

Most are too busy trying to solve the problem and don’t want to ‘waste time’ trying something else.

Almost no one steps-back and discovers that they are using The Essential Four in the wrong combination to achieve what they want.

So they waste lots of time.

Ironic really.

Yes, literally four out of five of you reading this right now has a problem that you’ve been struggling with for months or years, and you needn’t any longer.

Some of you get 1-1 coaching from me and have heard this before:

The fast-track is to accept the fact that all the effort you have been putting into solving your current problem is keeping the problem in place.

Look at where you’re applying your effort, and make some changes today.

OK, this was a 5min read.

But it’s likely to save you at least 5 months.

And practically no-one is teaching people this.

Each week in this newsletter, I explore the patterns that keep people exhausted and stuck. The ones that 99% of people don’t notice.

With that knowledge, I’ll show you how to create an unfair advantage: Less effort, better outcomes.

—

Spend enough time around me and you will have an unfair advantage where you:

• Get clear on what you actually want

• Stop following advice that never quite felt right

• Stop running from what scares you

• Stop trying to control anything beyond your Essential Four

• Put in the effort that’s actually rewarded

• Enjoy the journey as you level-up in life and business

—

Just remember:
It’s not trying harder.
It’s changing how you’re using The Essential Four.
That’s how you create an unfair advantage.

Where are you saying “this should be easier”?

That’s where to start.

—

💛 Grant